Misc.

Parking Situations All College Students Go Through

*WARNING:  FOUL LANGUAGE*

If you have ever attended college, or attend college now, you surely know how frustrating parking on campus can be.  You have to get to campus before 9AM just to get a good spot.  A good spot is the closest to your classes’ building.  Ever arrive late, like 9:15AM and you realize there are no good spots, ALREADY!? It is literally one of the most frustrating experiences ever, because that means you have to walk and walking with a lot of books, water, coffee, etc. simply sucks, especially in the winter.  Here are some parking situations I am sure we have all experienced on a college campus:

1.The “I Got a Good Spot!” You arrive at the parking lot at 8:05AM.  You clearly see an open spot in the very front of the lot, the closest to the building.  With a big smile on your face, you exclaim to yourself, “Hell yeah!”

2.The “I Tried And Failed” You plan to go to bed a bit earlier so you can wake up earlier just to get a decent parking spot.  You know you won’t get the very first few spots, but you will, at least, get in a lane close to the building.  However, you woke up later than you planned and so you spend your morning rushing to get out the door.  You arrive at the parking lot and, just in case because you never know, you drive all the way to the very first lane in the parking lot.  You drive VERY slowly because someone could be walking to his or her car to leave, which would mean you could take that spot!

Your head moves back and forth quickly to make sure you do not miss ANYONE who could be walking to his or her car. “There, there is someone!” Nope, that idiot is just getting something out of his car and then leaves.  False a-fucking-larm.  Then you look to your left and see someone walking. “Oh yay, another one! Please God, let this person leave.” The person walks to her car, sits on the seat, and then reclines.  Nope, taking a fucking nap.  “Fuck!” You’ve driven the entire lane and see no open spots.  Sulking and in acceptance, you drive to the next lane that has an open spot, which happens to be about a mile from your building.  You pull in and say to yourself, “Goddammit!” Then you walk, as fast as you can, to your building.

3. The “Asshole Who Took My Spot” You get to campus at a time where you absolutely know there are no open spots close to your building.  But, as a good college student always does, you drive up to the first lane anyways, just in case.  You drive down the first lane slowly, again, watching for people walking to their cars or watching for those beautiful looking red reverse lights, telling you someone is about to pull out and you can pull in.  No such luck in the first lane.  So you try the next.  As you turn into the next lane, you see on the opposite side, another car also attempting to find an open spot.

Right in the middle of the lane you see those sexy red reverse lights and push on the gas.  The other car sees this also, and pushes the gas as well.  “Oh hell no! No you don’t.  That is my spot!” You are now in a game of chicken with another car.  Who will arrive first? Not you.  Never you.  It is always the other car.  Once the other car pulls in, you drive past and give them that “look”, and yell, “Asshole!”.

4.”The “I Gave Up And Parked At a Meter” You REALLY do not want to walk today.  You just don’t.  You also do not have much time to get to class.  You have tried every parking lot and see that there is just no close spots open.  So, you give up and simply pay the parking meter.  Ten dollars’ worth of quarters later, you have parked close to your building for one hour.  Yay! But, never again.

5. The “I Need Exercise” You know full well you are not getting a parking spot anywhere near your building.  So, in an effort to ease your stress, you say to yourself, “Eh, I could use the exercise.  Today, I am parking in the spot furthest from the building.  Walking is good for me!” So, you do.  And it sucked.  Big time.  You tell yourself you’d rather just workout than walk far to your building; it’s just not worth it.

6. The “Fuck You Meter and Acceptance” Again, you have tried all of the parking lots and there are no close spots open.  You just cannot walk today.  So, you go to the one place where there is usually an open spot that people may not know about.  Once you arrive, you see a parking meter.  Bewildered, you say, “When the hell did these get put in? Goddammit!” So, you give up and go park in a lot, and accept the fact that you have to walk.

Sorry college kids, parking at college stinks.  If you want to get a good, close spot, you will need to arrive at the parking lot no later than 9AM.