Misc.

Things Teachers Think But Do Not Say-Part One

Teachers are human.  They are not perfect; they are not angels.  As humans, we have feelings, thoughts, and our very own personalities.  Teachers are also not immune or ignorant of the challenges of teaching.  As a university lecturer for the previous 7 years, my colleagues and I have shared thoughts on the positives and the negatives of teaching adult students.  Again, as humans, we have thoughts-some are good; some are……human.

1. Who the hell just shit their pants?  This past summer, I taught a course I usually teach in the fall.  Every Monday and Wednesday I took the class to a computer lab on campus so they could take their quizzes online.  This summer I had two classes combined to equal 40 students.  On quiz days, I put them in separate labs.  They had two quizzes a week for four weeks.  It was a very fun summer and I had an excellent group of students.  However, on the first quiz when I did my rounds to ensure students were not cheating, I walked past one specific area of one of the labs that smelled like someone literally just shit his or her pants.  Someone, for whatever reason, took it upon himself or herself to NOT hold in a fart, but instead, to let it out.  Probably hoping it wouldn’t stink.  So, I thought to myself, “Okay, everyone has accidents sometimes and thinks a fart won’t stink, and then dies in fear because it does. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.”  So, I thought it was just this once and that it wouldn’t happen again.  Unfortunately for me and for others nearby, I was wrong.  During the next quiz, on Wednesday, I walked past that area and the same damn thing happened-smelled like ass.  Suddenly, I knew what I had to do:  I avoided that lab entirely and just made my teaching assistants do the rounds in there instead (I would chuckle to myself, knowing what I did).  On the last day, one of my TAs told me that someone farted the entire four weeks and she couldn’t believe it.  I laughed and said “I know.”

2. Man, I really have to pee. Man, I really have to poop. Hand downs, the most difficult part of being a teacher is not being able to go to the bathroom when you really need to.  I always find that I have to go to the bathroom at the most inconvenient times, like when class JUST began or after class and I’m super excited for the students to leave so I can run to the bathroom real quick before the next class starts, but someone decides to stay and ask for help. I literally have to stand there either holding in my bladder or squeezing the cheeks, praying he or she leaves ASAP so I can make a dash to the bathroom!  I probably could tell them that I have to leave and will be right back, but I won’t ever leave college kids alone because if I ever left, it would be rather difficult to reel them back in when I got back to the classroom.

3.Okay, this is just not working. As teachers, we love to plan lessons and activities that we feel will get the students engaged and excited to learn.  Most of the time the lessons are a success, but then there are times when they just bomb.  For example, I once planned an activity that I thought for sure would engage students and would get them talking to each other.  It didn’t go as planned, like, at all.  The students literally rolled their eyes because they were forced to DO something; all they wanted to do was sit and listen to me (I must be interesting to listen to?) and take notes (this was a passive class, so I was trying to get them more active).  Then, rather than talking about the activity, they started discussing the upcoming weekend’s parties.  I said to them, “Really guys? You realize I am your teacher and I can hear you?  Stop talking about drinking! You’re 18; you should only be drinking Root Beer at your age!”

4.It is so cold in here; I should have worn a padded bra! Sometimes classrooms can be very cold.  Unfortunately, the downside of being cold is that our nips poke through our shirts.  This may be my biggest fear whenever I teach because my classroom is known for always feeling like a freezer.  My students would come from their Math class, and then would walk into mine and exclaim, “Ugh, why is it always so cold in here!?”  Therefore, every morning I make sure I am wearing a padded bra so no one sees my nips poking through my shirt.  One time I forgot, and I was wearing a shirt that did not do a good job of hiding my them.  I was so embarrassed because whenever I looked down, I saw them, so, I knew my students did too.  In fact, I was staring at their eyes and I could see several of them looking…not at my eyes.  It was unbearable.  After that class, I made sure to buy only padded bras!

5. Ugh, I hate grading. The fun part of teaching is assigning papers and other assignments that you know will help students learn and retain the information, while also giving students the opportunity to demonstrate their knowledge growth.  The not-so-fun part is having to grade all of those papers and assignments.  This becomes even less tolerable when you have over 100 students and you assign papers and other assignments every week.  I guarantee you no teacher has ever said, “I cannot wait to grade all these papers this weekend.  It’s going to be a blast!”

These are just five examples of things teachers think but do not say, but trust me, there are so much more.  Stay tuned for “Things Teachers Think But Do Not Say-Part 2”.  Also, if you are a teacher and have some you’d like to share, I’d love to hear them! Just fill out a contact form or shoot me an email at tarade09@gmail.com.

1 thought on “Things Teachers Think But Do Not Say-Part One

  1. Love it! It’s so easy for students and parents to forget that teachers are indeed, human. I throughly enjoyed reading this and know that I, as a perpetual student, am guilty of probably being the reason one teacher or another almost didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. Luckily, now that most of my classes are online, my instructors are protected from my after-class ambushes – LOL!
    ~A.

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